Well, I didn't do it. I needed to lose 2.6 lbs this week to hit my 10% goal, but it didn't happen. Not even close. Despite the fact that I was where I needed to be on Saturday (granted, that was with my clothes off) I only lost one pound this week. It's frustrating because I did everything right. I exercised 5 days and earned 19 activity points, and didn't eat any of them. I also purposely avoided going out to watch football yesterday, and had 23 unused weekly bonus points. You would think that would add up to a nice loss for me, but nope.
The only thing I can think of is that lifting weights might be impacting my results on the scale, specifically lifting on Mondays, which are my weigh-in days. I've tried to do research on that, and most sites say that it doesn't matter. I've found a few sources though that say muscles hold onto water right after lifting as they work to repair themselves. So maybe that's it? I don't really want to switch from my Monday/Wednesday/Friday lifting routine, but if I have another disappointing weigh-in next week, I might have to.
After today, my next goal was to reach 20 lbs (down 2 lbs more) by November 7, two weeks from today. So with today's failure I'm looking at needing to lose 3.6 lbs in two weeks in order to get back on track. That's going to be tricky, if my progress as of late is any indication. Especially because on November 5 some friends and I are going tailgating at a college football game and even if we do try to make things WW friendly, I'm sure that will be a points-heavy day.
Blah. I'm just in such a gloomy mood now after going to WW. I'm so disappointed and quite honestly I just want to give up. I want to forget about portion sizes and number of points. I want to dive bomb into a tub of frosting and never come out. I won't, of course, because I know that overall I just need to keep pushing through and it'll all be worth it, but right now it just sucks.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Stupid Scales
I had a pretty good week with WW last week - as of Saturday morning, I still had 35 weekly points left, along with 13 activity points I'd earned from exercising 4 days during the week. I restarted ChaLean Extreme on Monday, so I wasn't quite sure how my body would react to reintroducing weight lifting into my routine. I know that long term, weight lifting is hugely beneficial to weight loss, but sometimes you can show a gain at first and I was nervous about it. So I was glad to see that when I weighed myself for my Biggest Loser weigh-in on Saturday, I was down 1.2 lbs. I proceeded to use all the rest of my weekly points and a few of my activity points over the rest of the weekend, but still, I was within the points that I had.
This morning before I left for work, I weighed myself wearing the clothes I would have on for WW. Still down 1.2 lbs. Awesome! I got to WW today feeling pretty hopeful. I stepped on the scale and was told I lost 0.4 lbs. WTF? Seriously? It would have been one thing to lose 0.4 if I had been expecting it. After having 30 points of beer yesterday, I would almost have deserved it! But having expected a better number, I'm feeling really disappointed. Plus, now that means I need to lose 2.6 lbs by next Monday in order to hit 10% on that date like I planned. It's doable, I know, because I've done it before, but not for over a month. My body doesn't seem to want to let go of weight that quickly anymore. I'm definitely going to give it my best effort, but it's a little more daunting than I would like! Blah.
On a more positive note, I had two non-scale victories last week. First, I discovered I was able to put my biggest pair of jeans on and off without unbuttoning/unzipping them. Yay! I don't feel like I look any different, but that's proof that I'm losing weight even if I don't feel it. Second, I saw a friend yesterday who I haven't seen in a while, maybe since late July. So he had no idea I was doing WW. He noticed my weight loss and that made my day. I've had other people tell me that they notice I lost weight, but they all know that I'm doing WW so I wonder how much of it is just them being encouraging. Which I appreciate, don't get me wrong, but somehow it means more coming from somehow who hasn't seen me in some time and who doesn't have a clue I've been working away at this.
I just need to focus on those things and less on the number on the scale, though that's easier said than done!
This morning before I left for work, I weighed myself wearing the clothes I would have on for WW. Still down 1.2 lbs. Awesome! I got to WW today feeling pretty hopeful. I stepped on the scale and was told I lost 0.4 lbs. WTF? Seriously? It would have been one thing to lose 0.4 if I had been expecting it. After having 30 points of beer yesterday, I would almost have deserved it! But having expected a better number, I'm feeling really disappointed. Plus, now that means I need to lose 2.6 lbs by next Monday in order to hit 10% on that date like I planned. It's doable, I know, because I've done it before, but not for over a month. My body doesn't seem to want to let go of weight that quickly anymore. I'm definitely going to give it my best effort, but it's a little more daunting than I would like! Blah.
On a more positive note, I had two non-scale victories last week. First, I discovered I was able to put my biggest pair of jeans on and off without unbuttoning/unzipping them. Yay! I don't feel like I look any different, but that's proof that I'm losing weight even if I don't feel it. Second, I saw a friend yesterday who I haven't seen in a while, maybe since late July. So he had no idea I was doing WW. He noticed my weight loss and that made my day. I've had other people tell me that they notice I lost weight, but they all know that I'm doing WW so I wonder how much of it is just them being encouraging. Which I appreciate, don't get me wrong, but somehow it means more coming from somehow who hasn't seen me in some time and who doesn't have a clue I've been working away at this.
I just need to focus on those things and less on the number on the scale, though that's easier said than done!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Just made it!
On my schedule of mini goals, I had decided that I wanted to reach 15 pounds by this week. Well, I did it! I needed to lose 1.8 lbs this week in order to hit the goal and I lost EXACTLY 1.8 lbs! Yay! Here's the updated schedule:
My Mini Goals:
10 lbs. by September 12 Done, on schedule!
15 lbs. by October 10 Done, on schedule!
18 lbs. (my 10% goal) by October 24
20 lbs. by November 7
25 lbs. by December 5
28 lbs. (my 15% goal) by December 19
30 lbs. by January 2
35 lbs. by January 30
38 lbs. (my 20% goal) by February 20
40 lbs. by March 5
45 lbs. by March 26
47 lbs. (my 25% goal) by April 9
50 lbs. by April 23 - GOAL WEIGHT!!
So now I've got two weeks to lose three more pounds and reach the next goal. And with that 10% goal I get my WW keychain! I don't know why I'm so excited for that silly keychain, but I am. I'd LOVE to get it by next week, but I don't know how realistic that is, so I won't be disappointed if it takes me two weeks to do it.
I'm also excited because I'm spreading the WW enthusiasm among my friends, family, and co-workers. My mom joined today and I'm really happy for her and looking forward to supporting each other on this. Two of my co-workers joined this week too, and will be going to meetings with my friend Colleen and me on Mondays. And, I have two friends thinking about signing up for online memberships. I love talking about WW and am so glad that I've helped inspire people to join. It sort of reinforced for me that I might like to look into being a meeting leader once I've hit my goal weight/lifetime member status. WW is hard work, no doubt, and frustrating at times, but I really believe in it and it's worked well for me so far, so I can't help but sing its praises!
My Mini Goals:
18 lbs. (my 10% goal) by October 24
20 lbs. by November 7
25 lbs. by December 5
28 lbs. (my 15% goal) by December 19
30 lbs. by January 2
35 lbs. by January 30
38 lbs. (my 20% goal) by February 20
40 lbs. by March 5
45 lbs. by March 26
47 lbs. (my 25% goal) by April 9
50 lbs. by April 23 - GOAL WEIGHT!!
So now I've got two weeks to lose three more pounds and reach the next goal. And with that 10% goal I get my WW keychain! I don't know why I'm so excited for that silly keychain, but I am. I'd LOVE to get it by next week, but I don't know how realistic that is, so I won't be disappointed if it takes me two weeks to do it.
I'm also excited because I'm spreading the WW enthusiasm among my friends, family, and co-workers. My mom joined today and I'm really happy for her and looking forward to supporting each other on this. Two of my co-workers joined this week too, and will be going to meetings with my friend Colleen and me on Mondays. And, I have two friends thinking about signing up for online memberships. I love talking about WW and am so glad that I've helped inspire people to join. It sort of reinforced for me that I might like to look into being a meeting leader once I've hit my goal weight/lifetime member status. WW is hard work, no doubt, and frustrating at times, but I really believe in it and it's worked well for me so far, so I can't help but sing its praises!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Weight Loss is Confusing
I went to Weight Watchers today and I'm down 1.6 pounds. Yay, right? The part that's confusing is that this week should not have been a good one! I didn't even give points a thought last Tuesday when I went to the Big E and ate everything fried, dipped in chocolate, or covered in bacon that I could find. Since I definitely used all my weekly bonus points there, that meant I was all out on the second day of the week. That also meant that I went over by a point or two (or sometimes three) almost every day because I just can't forego my little after dinner treat. Granted, I did earn activity points to cover those overages, but still. And then Sunday I went to a friend's house to watch football and was parked directly in front of pizza, chips, cheese balls, and dip. And anyone who knows me knows that once something is in front of me, 9 times out of 10, it's going straight into my face. So on Sunday I stopped counting points by about 4pm.
Why then did I lose almost 2 pounds this week? And lost no weight two weeks ago when I didn't go a point over my bonus weekly and activity points? I just don't get it. I'm not complaining of course, I just wish there was a rhyme or reason to it so I could know what to expect from week to week. Does this mean that it's ok for me to splurge and go over my points here and there? I'm not so sure I want to get into the habit of that to find out the answer.
I guess all I can do is keep going as I have been. Stay within my points 5 or 6 days of the week, but don't beat myself up if I take a special occasion out with friends (and let's face it, Sunday is a special occasion during football season!) to enjoy the foods and drinks that I love.
The other thing I find confusing (well, maybe more annoying than confusing) is how, despite the fact that I've lost 13.2 pounds, which I feel is significant, I don't look or feel any different. A couple of people have said that they can see I've lost weight, but I don't know. These are all people who know I'm doing WW and trying hard to shed the pounds, so it's possible they're just trying to be encouraging. When I look in the mirror, I don't see anything different. My clothes really aren't fitting differently. Shouldn't there be a slight difference after losing almost 8% of my body weight so far? Maybe one day it'll be a sudden change that I see out of nowhere. Fingers crossed...
Next week is the next date on the goal calendar that I set for myself. 15 pounds by October 10, which will actually be October 11 because WW is closed on Columbus Day next week. That means I need to lose 1.8 pounds. It's definitely doable, but it won't be easy. I'm going to have to really be careful about the choices I make, and I'm going to have to drag myself out of bed to exercise in the mornings. I don't want to miss a goal this early in the process, so I've got to do it!
Why then did I lose almost 2 pounds this week? And lost no weight two weeks ago when I didn't go a point over my bonus weekly and activity points? I just don't get it. I'm not complaining of course, I just wish there was a rhyme or reason to it so I could know what to expect from week to week. Does this mean that it's ok for me to splurge and go over my points here and there? I'm not so sure I want to get into the habit of that to find out the answer.
I guess all I can do is keep going as I have been. Stay within my points 5 or 6 days of the week, but don't beat myself up if I take a special occasion out with friends (and let's face it, Sunday is a special occasion during football season!) to enjoy the foods and drinks that I love.
The other thing I find confusing (well, maybe more annoying than confusing) is how, despite the fact that I've lost 13.2 pounds, which I feel is significant, I don't look or feel any different. A couple of people have said that they can see I've lost weight, but I don't know. These are all people who know I'm doing WW and trying hard to shed the pounds, so it's possible they're just trying to be encouraging. When I look in the mirror, I don't see anything different. My clothes really aren't fitting differently. Shouldn't there be a slight difference after losing almost 8% of my body weight so far? Maybe one day it'll be a sudden change that I see out of nowhere. Fingers crossed...
Next week is the next date on the goal calendar that I set for myself. 15 pounds by October 10, which will actually be October 11 because WW is closed on Columbus Day next week. That means I need to lose 1.8 pounds. It's definitely doable, but it won't be easy. I'm going to have to really be careful about the choices I make, and I'm going to have to drag myself out of bed to exercise in the mornings. I don't want to miss a goal this early in the process, so I've got to do it!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Slow Progress
Small loss at WW today - 0.6 lbs. Not terrible, especially because I definitely went over my points this weekend with everything I ate and drank while out in Boston with my brother and cousins. But not stellar either. I now have to lose 3.4 lbs in two weeks in order to meet the next goal that I set for myself. That's definitely doable, but it's not necessarily a sure thing, considering last week I was perfectly on plan and lost no weight.
But. I'm going to do my best to make it happen, and when I do, I'll only be 3 pounds away from my 10% goal and that keychain from Weight Watchers!
But. I'm going to do my best to make it happen, and when I do, I'll only be 3 pounds away from my 10% goal and that keychain from Weight Watchers!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Overeating = The Visible Addiction
I read something on a blog today that really got me thinking. Emily of One Twenty Five wrote:
"sometimes being over weight sucks and is hard and isn’t fun - especially if you’re a girl in today’s society. Being over weight is the one vice that when you step out the door, everyone knows you have, so yea, it gets hard."
It's really true. You can be a smoker, or an alcoholic, or a sex addict and not have it be visible to the world automatically. But there's no way to hide the fact that you're an overeater. Now, I'm not advocating that anyone start drinking excessively or smoking crack to avoid food, as surely the path down those roads is no easier than that of an overweight person. In fact, I'd say that except for in extreme cases where overeating is causing significant health problems, it's one of the better vices to have, comparatively speaking. In a way, I feel pretty virtuous that my weakness is cake and cheesy poofs. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, I am strictly a social drinker, I wouldn't know where to score drugs even if I wanted to, and given my recent prolonged streak of celibacy, I'd be the worst sex addict ever. So yay me! But, why then am I visually punished more so than people with those other vices or addictions? I've made (mostly) good choices in my life, yet my love of food is written across my arms, stomach, hips, ass, and thighs in a way no smoker or drinker ever experiences. Where is the justice there?
"sometimes being over weight sucks and is hard and isn’t fun - especially if you’re a girl in today’s society. Being over weight is the one vice that when you step out the door, everyone knows you have, so yea, it gets hard."
It's really true. You can be a smoker, or an alcoholic, or a sex addict and not have it be visible to the world automatically. But there's no way to hide the fact that you're an overeater. Now, I'm not advocating that anyone start drinking excessively or smoking crack to avoid food, as surely the path down those roads is no easier than that of an overweight person. In fact, I'd say that except for in extreme cases where overeating is causing significant health problems, it's one of the better vices to have, comparatively speaking. In a way, I feel pretty virtuous that my weakness is cake and cheesy poofs. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, I am strictly a social drinker, I wouldn't know where to score drugs even if I wanted to, and given my recent prolonged streak of celibacy, I'd be the worst sex addict ever. So yay me! But, why then am I visually punished more so than people with those other vices or addictions? I've made (mostly) good choices in my life, yet my love of food is written across my arms, stomach, hips, ass, and thighs in a way no smoker or drinker ever experiences. Where is the justice there?
Stuck
So, Weight Watchers sucked yesterday. I lost no weight. Same exact weight as last week. At least it wasn't a gain, and I know I should be happy about that, but it still sucks. A whole week of tracking points and exercising like crazy for no progress at all. Blech. It would be one thing if I knew I cheated or went over my points. But I didn't, at all. Yes, I used every last one of my points, but that's what they're there for. And I even did little bits of exercise here and there throughout the week while watching TV that I didn't even log for activity points, so I thought that would help too. Nope. I still feel that I'll be able to hit my next goal with no problem - lose 4 pounds by October 10 - but I was hoping to make progress toward it this week. The closer we get to fall, with all its glorious foods and holidays and hiding inside under blankets, the harder it's going to be to lose weight, I know. So I wanted to have a good head start and not have my progress stalled. Plus, I'm super competitive, even with myself, and I hate that my streak of losing weight was broken. Five weeks in a row and then I blew it. Yuck.
Because I was frustrated yesterday, and just in a generally glum mood for a variety of reasons, I ate way more than I should have last night and used 10 of my extra weekly points yesterday. Stupid. I hate using points that early in the week, as that means now I have to exercise even more to give myself a cushion for the weekend. I'll be away this weekend visiting with family, and the foods available to me will be pretty much out of my control. I'm going to do my best to make good decisions, but it's a lot harder to do when I'm eating out at restaurants or eating food someone else has prepared. I NEED to post some good numbers on Monday though, both for my mental health and because on Tuesday I am taking the day off to go to the Big E, the largest fair in the Northeast. Basically, the Big E is synonymous with fried things, and Weight Watchers be damned, I'm going to enjoy myself!
At my WW meeting yesterday, the leader asked who uses all of their weekly points. I was absolutely shocked to find that most people don't. A couple of women even commented that 49 points is a lot and they have a hard time using them even if they wanted to. I'm sorry, WHAT??? I don't get it. Do these people never leave the house? I guess if I never went out with friends, or didn't drink alcohol, or had no life at all, it would be fairly easy to stick with the 29 points/day and not use many of the extra points. But wow, in my 6 weeks of WW so far, I think there was only one week where I didn't use all 49 points. Hell, the last two weeks I used them all plus 25 - 30 activity points. I'm sort of envious of these women that don't need to use them, but at the same time I wouldn't trade my life and the fun times I have with friends over good food and drinks for anything in the world.
Because I was frustrated yesterday, and just in a generally glum mood for a variety of reasons, I ate way more than I should have last night and used 10 of my extra weekly points yesterday. Stupid. I hate using points that early in the week, as that means now I have to exercise even more to give myself a cushion for the weekend. I'll be away this weekend visiting with family, and the foods available to me will be pretty much out of my control. I'm going to do my best to make good decisions, but it's a lot harder to do when I'm eating out at restaurants or eating food someone else has prepared. I NEED to post some good numbers on Monday though, both for my mental health and because on Tuesday I am taking the day off to go to the Big E, the largest fair in the Northeast. Basically, the Big E is synonymous with fried things, and Weight Watchers be damned, I'm going to enjoy myself!
At my WW meeting yesterday, the leader asked who uses all of their weekly points. I was absolutely shocked to find that most people don't. A couple of women even commented that 49 points is a lot and they have a hard time using them even if they wanted to. I'm sorry, WHAT??? I don't get it. Do these people never leave the house? I guess if I never went out with friends, or didn't drink alcohol, or had no life at all, it would be fairly easy to stick with the 29 points/day and not use many of the extra points. But wow, in my 6 weeks of WW so far, I think there was only one week where I didn't use all 49 points. Hell, the last two weeks I used them all plus 25 - 30 activity points. I'm sort of envious of these women that don't need to use them, but at the same time I wouldn't trade my life and the fun times I have with friends over good food and drinks for anything in the world.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Resentment
Sometimes I really resent having to lose weight. With the temperatures dropping and Fall officially arriving next week, the start of the unofficial baking season begins. I’m not as tempted to bake in the summer because I try to avoid having the oven on. And I’m out of the house more, keeping myself busy. But lately, baking temptations have been popping up everywhere. Brown Sugar Pumpkin Cheesecake with Chocolate Shortbread Crust? Cake Batter Blondies with Marshmallow Buttercream? Cheesy breadsticks to accompany big bowls of hot, comforting pasta? Yes, yes, and yes please.
But I can’t bake all of these things. Sure, I can make them, try one serving, and give the rest away, and I will do that sometimes. I love sharing my baking with people almost as much as I love eating it. That’s a lot of temptation to be around though, and even having just one little blondie could use up a whole meal’s worth of points. It’s nice that Weight Watchers gives you the flexibility of using your points that way if you want, but I know that’s not a healthy way to eat in the long-term.
I know I have no one but myself to blame, and that having bakefests are part of the reason I’m on this journey now, but it still sucks. It’s hard not to get really bratty and think it’s unfair that I can’t just eat what I want and enjoy all the deliciousness in the world. I don’t see this ever not being a struggle for me, and sometimes that seems overwhelming. I have a lot of Christmas cookie seasons ahead of me, a lot of friends’ birthdays and other special events, and it’s just plain exhausting to think about having to worry about points and putting limits on things for every special occasion for the rest of my life.
I know it’s worth it, or at least it will be once I’ve reached my goal and feel better about myself. But right now I just don’t like it. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
Monday, September 12, 2011
I did it!
I went to Weight Watchers today for my weekly meeting and weigh-in, and I lost 3.2 lbs! That's even better than I'd expected, and means I got both another 5 lb. sticker for hitting the 10 lb. mark, and I got my 5% sticker as well. Yay!
If nothing else, this week was a great example of how you can eat a lot and still lose weight as long as you're still within your points. And that if the points you're given aren't enough for what you want to eat, you need to exercise. Without the 31 activity points that I earned, this week could easily have been a 3.2 gain! I'm feeling reassured that I can make it through football season and anything else ahead as long as I'm smart about it and am sure to do enough exercise to offset what I eat. A new week has begun, and so far, so good. Some fiber cereal for breakfast and half a Subway sandwich (meat and lots of veggies) and half a bag of Baked Lays for lunch leaves me with 18 points for the rest of the day, and it's already almost 2:30. Plenty of points to have a buffalo chicken quesadilla and a margarita or beer while I watch the Patriots tonight, and even enough for a WW ice cream bar for dessert! I'm not sure you're supposed to make your days so point-heavy at the end, but it's working for me so far. I'd much rather have a light breakfast (I pretty much never skip breakfast though) and have more flexibility later in the day. If I find myself hitting a plateau, switching that around will be one of the things I try to break through it, but for now, I'm not changing a thing.
I'll update my Mini Goals every time I reach one of the goals, or the date by which I was supposed to reach a goal. So here we go:
My Mini Goals:
10 lbs. by September 12 Done, on schedule!
15 lbs. by October 10
18 lbs. (my 10% goal) by October 24
20 lbs. by November 7
25 lbs. by December 5
28 lbs. (my 15% goal) by December 19
30 lbs. by January 2
35 lbs. by January 30
38 lbs. (my 20% goal) by February 20
40 lbs. by March 5
45 lbs. by March 26
47 lbs. (my 25% goal) by April 9
50 lbs. by April 23 - GOAL WEIGHT!!
I'm a pound ahead of where I planned to be today, which means I have four weeks to lose four pounds and reach my next goal. I'm hopeful that it won't take that long (and really, I'm determined that it won't) but I wanted to give myself some leeway when making these goals because I'd rather overestimate the amount of time and be pleasantly surprised than be too aggressive and be continually disappointed if I don't hit the marks. It's working so far!
If nothing else, this week was a great example of how you can eat a lot and still lose weight as long as you're still within your points. And that if the points you're given aren't enough for what you want to eat, you need to exercise. Without the 31 activity points that I earned, this week could easily have been a 3.2 gain! I'm feeling reassured that I can make it through football season and anything else ahead as long as I'm smart about it and am sure to do enough exercise to offset what I eat. A new week has begun, and so far, so good. Some fiber cereal for breakfast and half a Subway sandwich (meat and lots of veggies) and half a bag of Baked Lays for lunch leaves me with 18 points for the rest of the day, and it's already almost 2:30. Plenty of points to have a buffalo chicken quesadilla and a margarita or beer while I watch the Patriots tonight, and even enough for a WW ice cream bar for dessert! I'm not sure you're supposed to make your days so point-heavy at the end, but it's working for me so far. I'd much rather have a light breakfast (I pretty much never skip breakfast though) and have more flexibility later in the day. If I find myself hitting a plateau, switching that around will be one of the things I try to break through it, but for now, I'm not changing a thing.
I'll update my Mini Goals every time I reach one of the goals, or the date by which I was supposed to reach a goal. So here we go:
My Mini Goals:
15 lbs. by October 10
18 lbs. (my 10% goal) by October 24
20 lbs. by November 7
25 lbs. by December 5
28 lbs. (my 15% goal) by December 19
30 lbs. by January 2
35 lbs. by January 30
38 lbs. (my 20% goal) by February 20
40 lbs. by March 5
45 lbs. by March 26
47 lbs. (my 25% goal) by April 9
50 lbs. by April 23 - GOAL WEIGHT!!
I'm a pound ahead of where I planned to be today, which means I have four weeks to lose four pounds and reach my next goal. I'm hopeful that it won't take that long (and really, I'm determined that it won't) but I wanted to give myself some leeway when making these goals because I'd rather overestimate the amount of time and be pleasantly surprised than be too aggressive and be continually disappointed if I don't hit the marks. It's working so far!
Loving yourself
I read a lot of blogs. Mostly food blogs, which is pretty ironic given that I'm supposed to be trying to lose weight. On one of the baking blogs I read (http://buddingbaketress.blogspot.com/), the author, Kerry, wrote a different kind of post over the weekend, talking about her weight struggles. She's lost over 100 pounds, but recently gained back about 20 of them and is really frustrated with herself. Tons of readers left her encouraging comments that I sort of skimmed through, but one in particular stuck out to me.
That commenter basically said Kerry should love herself at any size and stop trying to lose weight, that her body has a weight it wants to be at and she shouldn't try so hard to fight it. The commenter mentioned that's overweight herself, but she and her boyfriend love her body and that's all that matters.
I have sort of mixed feelings about this. Yes, I absolutely believe we need to love ourselves, and that's something I'm working on. We need to not judge ourselves so harshly or be quite so critical. We need to give ourselves a break and cut ourselves some slack when we slip up and overindulge or hit snooze too many times and miss a workout. I'm not denying any of those things. However, as someone who has ridden the weight see-saw over the last decade, I know for a fact that life is just a little better when I'm thinner. It's easier to go clothes shopping. It's easier to walk up stairs. My knees hurt less. I feel more confident. Maybe I should still feel confident at the size I am now, but I don't. Is that wrong? I don't know. But I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to better myself, trying to gain a healthier life so that I can live longer with more enjoyment. If someone is truly happy and content at the weight/size they're at, more power to them. But for me, I am not happy with myself right now. I know I'll be a happier person when I can fit back into the clothes in my closet that are currently too small. I'll be a happier person when I don't feel the need to cross my arms over my waist when I sit down or hold a pillow in my lap when sitting on the couch. I'll be a happier person when I don't automatically assume a cute guy will go for the skinnier girl next to me in the bar. Maybe that's shallow of me to say, but I don't think so. I think it's real.
That commenter basically said Kerry should love herself at any size and stop trying to lose weight, that her body has a weight it wants to be at and she shouldn't try so hard to fight it. The commenter mentioned that's overweight herself, but she and her boyfriend love her body and that's all that matters.
I have sort of mixed feelings about this. Yes, I absolutely believe we need to love ourselves, and that's something I'm working on. We need to not judge ourselves so harshly or be quite so critical. We need to give ourselves a break and cut ourselves some slack when we slip up and overindulge or hit snooze too many times and miss a workout. I'm not denying any of those things. However, as someone who has ridden the weight see-saw over the last decade, I know for a fact that life is just a little better when I'm thinner. It's easier to go clothes shopping. It's easier to walk up stairs. My knees hurt less. I feel more confident. Maybe I should still feel confident at the size I am now, but I don't. Is that wrong? I don't know. But I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to better myself, trying to gain a healthier life so that I can live longer with more enjoyment. If someone is truly happy and content at the weight/size they're at, more power to them. But for me, I am not happy with myself right now. I know I'll be a happier person when I can fit back into the clothes in my closet that are currently too small. I'll be a happier person when I don't feel the need to cross my arms over my waist when I sit down or hold a pillow in my lap when sitting on the couch. I'll be a happier person when I don't automatically assume a cute guy will go for the skinnier girl next to me in the bar. Maybe that's shallow of me to say, but I don't think so. I think it's real.
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